


Goodbye to All That

by diana_hawthorne (stsgirlie)



Series: Private Lives [6]
Category: Law & Order
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:44:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9097990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stsgirlie/pseuds/diana_hawthorne
Summary: On Mike Logan's last day on Staten Island, Frankie Silvera takes him out for a drink.Set December 2004.





	

Twinkling lights bedeck the bar and tinny Christmas carols pour out of the jukebox in the corner. Garlands are draped over the bar’s mirror and the bar is full of festive cheer. They’ve always gone out for Christmas drinks but this time is different--this time he’s not coming back. He finds them seats in the corner of the bar, beckoning to the bartender for two pints of beer. Beer poured, he hands her a glass before taking his seat.

‘Can’t believe you finally made it out,’ she comments wryly, studying him over the rim of her pint glass.

‘Yeah,’ he agrees, then falls silent, as though any additional syllable would be a betrayal.

They’ve gone through a lot together over the years; she’s been his partner for five of them, has seen him go from the cocky cop sure that he’d get what he wanted sooner rather than later to this exhausted, withdrawn man, silent more often than not. Now, with four failures to get what he wanted under his belt, he watches every word he says, even with her.

‘It’s gonna be different over there in Major Case.’

For a moment she catches a flicker of the man he used to be as he quirks a grin at her. ‘Yeah, no shit, Silvera. No more chasin’ down stolen lawnmowers, not unless they’re owned by the Mayor.’

She chuckles but the grin quickly fades from his face. ‘Look, I know it’s gonna be different--different even than the 2-7.’

‘D’you have a partner yet?’ She asks more out of a sense of duty than of curiosity.

‘No. Don’t have a desk either, apparently. Deakins is sortin’ it out.’

‘Yeah,’ she agrees, falling silent as she sips her beer. She doesn’t have a new partner yet, either, and she’s really not looking forward to breaking in someone new. They worked well together once they got past everything, and he’s been the partner she’s stuck with the longest, too.

What’s gonna happen to him? In some ways she knows him better than anyone, or at least better than anyone has in a long time. They’ve spent hours together on stakeouts, filling out paperwork, tracking down suspects. She’s seen him at his worst, or almost--nothing could be more rock-bottom than the act that sent him here in the first place. But she’s seen him at his best, too--when he picks up on hints that she misses, or puts together the pieces in a different way than she does, or those times when they’re on the exact same page and everything falls into place. She knows she’s helped keep him on the rails. Does he need that any more, and, if he does, is his new partner gonna be able to do the same thing? Will he let them in?

He didn’t want to let her in, after all, but events outside their control made that decision for him. The Taylor case, their first case together, everything collapsing around him after he found out his friend was on the take… and he still didn’t get what he wanted. That was the first time.

Over the past six years she’s seen him go through all sorts of shit, from three failed attempts by his former Lieutenant to get him back to the 2-7 to his personal life, watching him struggle to get out of the quagmire that has become his life. She pulled his file right after that first case, Stolper dragging the inches-thick record out of the filing cabinet, tossing it casually on his desk.

‘Have fun with it,’ he said, a smug smile on his face, implying that taking on Logan as her partner was punishment enough for botching the case. She took the file home and spent the next week reading it--it took her a long time to slog through. There was a lot in there, from disciplinary reports to psych evals, and when she closed the file she was still left feeling like there was something missing.

And there was. She never figured out what prompted that final, iconic act, though she had her suspicions. Two weeks after she returned his file to Stolper--without a word, despite his prodding--they showed up at a stolen vehicle investigation and she watched him go rigid with shock as the WASPy, Junior League-type who’d had her car stolen looked over at him and said his name.

Pulling him aside as soon as they got to the precinct, she asked him how on earth he knew her.

‘Around,’ he’d replied evasively. ‘Y’know how it is.’

She didn’t and told him so; he replied with the surprising revelation that he dated her cousin for three and a half years. He left her gaping, astonished, and later refused to answer any questions about it. She had to figure it out on her own, but she never did--that great unanswered question. But three and a half years… over the past six the longest relationship he’s had was eight months and that went up in flames as some sort of burnt offering to whatever gods he believed in. Well, it worked, but it was a Pyrrhic victory. What if his relationship, the real one, had prompted The Punch? She always thought of it in capital letters… after all, it was the most defining moment of his life.

Logan drains his beer and sets it down on the bar. ‘Listen, Frankie, I don’t wanna get mushy here… but I dunno if I’m ever gonna find a better partner than you.’

She blinks back sudden, unexpected tears. ‘Don’t get soppy on me now, Logan,’ she says, hitting his shoulder lightly.

He gives her his trademark grin, its megawatt shine dimmed only a little. ‘Yeah, well… thanks. For everything.’

‘Yeah,’ she agrees. ‘You too.’

It’s the closest they’re gonna get to goodbye. She knows that they’re not gonna keep in touch. She’s a reminder of everything that he hates about his enforced exile; no matter what they’ve gone through, she’ll always be that. But they’re not parting on bad terms. She knows that if she needs a favor, he’ll always take her call--same with her. It’s just… it’s the way it is, with him.

He stands up, shrugging into his jacket. ‘I’ll see you around,’ he says.

‘Yeah.’

He turns away and walks out of the bar, shoulders hunched. He should be walking tall, but he’s not. She turns away and takes another sip of beer.


End file.
